Funny Wedding Toasts

“In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still continued.” Helen Rowland

 

“Marriages are made in heaven. But, again, so are thunder, lightning, tornados and hail.” Anonymous

 

“Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.” Ambrose Bierce

 

“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” Erma Bombeck

 

“Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.” Anonymous

“Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married… and she didn’t have to hear about how well his Mother cooked.” Anonymous

 

“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” Jule Renard

 

“We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years.” Nick Faldo

 

“Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.” John Barrymore